I used to be really scared of being hurt too – of being bad, of being seen to be bad. I got overwhelmed by other people, and then would shut down a bit like how you describe Alisa.
Like Sasha says, i have found that taking small steps, and practicing socialising really helps. A lot has/d to do with my mindset. If i did something right, that didn’t count or wasn’t good enough. If i did something wrong, that had to be punished. Now i try to absorb positive feedback, and see my mistakes as things to learn from. It takes daily practice, but over time i’m finding it easier to relax in company and be less scared of failure and rejection. xxx