If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please call a mental health hotline. I know mental health services are so difficult to get in America right now. My heart goes out to you. Our veterans deserve more help! Many crisis lines can connect you to immediate help, or perhaps there is a veteran support group through one of the groups such as Wounded Warrior. I assume you are in the veterans housing program. Any chance of getting food stamps or voc rehab for employment?
I’m so sorry you are suffering!