Home › Forums › Online WRAP Community › WRAP and Life Challenges › I lost my safe space
Tagged: Coping with Loss
- This topic has 11 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 1 month ago by Gaylynn Wyant.
- September 25, 2021 at 12:50 pm #12551JosaParticipant
I lost my dad on July 3, 2021 and I miss him dearly. He had a long fight with Cancer; the first one started early and he won however the second fight…was too late. He undermined medical advice because of stigma but I reminded he was not alone and we would fight together, and we did. My old man was my sword and my blanket for hard times. He understood me well and was the only man I listened to. I dont know if I will ever get over this and may be I will but I will always miss dad when I need a safe space because that he was MY SAFE SPACE.October 9, 2021 at 10:48 am #12677RhiannonParticipant
It sounds really tough, I live with my elderly and frail parents and I don’t know what I’ll do when they are gone.
It’s good that you are here writing about how you feel. Hopefully, given time, you will make new connections. Not the same, different, but special and safe.
Sending you warm wishes.
R.November 7, 2021 at 11:43 am #12989JenniferParticipant
Though I’ve been in mental health treatment over 40 years, off and on. I was able to at least work until 2009. I struggled for a year before my workman’s comp ran out, my savings and 401K were gone, I lost my apartment and, finally, sold my car. I was in homeless shelters, on welfare and then in supportive housing before I was approved for Disability 3 years later.
I was never on the streets, which I’m grateful for every day.
Since then, I struggled to get well. Medicare paid for therapy and my medications or I don’t know where I would be today.
I attended support groups and participated in my faith community as best I could. But the economic struggle was ongoing to maintain housing that I could afford. I finally moved back to my family home several states away.
Economically, the move made since, but I was isolated, without independent transportation, in a city with lousy public transit. The next few years were rough. I was able to save enough to start a secured credit card and begin to build back my credit. With a credit card I could rent a car, to occasionally escape the conservative, homophobic community I was again living in.
I saved and in 3 years I was able to put down half on a used car and get a loan from my credit union. The car was the key. I had independence again. I had freedom. I was able to work part-time here and there until I was able to get a job at a non-profit organization.
I took on an, unpaid, leadership role in my faith community too.
Then Covid hit. My family member that I live with has a chronic and progressive health challenge. While physically unaffected by Covid, their mental health has become significant, despite numerous medications and mental health professionals.
Many days challenge me beyond what I think I can stand and still maintain my own mental health. I deteriorated.
Yet still I took on the challenge of recent full-time work, despite I risks and eventual loss of many support systems. Every day I doubted I would make it through the day in my new job, but today I’m more hopeful. It’s still early days, but I can’t wait for my first paid holiday on Thanksgiving in over 12 years.
Without a great therapist, effective medications, my faith community and ALL of the tools in my toolbox I wouldn’t be here, let alone able to take on my many challenges.
I’m going here because I can’t attend local support groups, or they don’t fit my needs.
Thank you for reading.November 17, 2021 at 6:44 am #13081AmyParticipant
Jennifer- for my own purposes and for others struggling, it is helpful to hear about your journey as someone may be walking a similar path and you give them hope by sharing.
I feel hope after reading your story and wish you the best.
Do you feel that the people who you work with contributed to your success?December 2, 2021 at 12:45 am #13186
Josa, I’m so sorry. I lost my dad 13 years ago very suddenly, and it was devastating. Over the years, I have found peace and new safe places/people. I hope you do, too! Allow yourself to mourn the loss; it means you had someone wonderful to love and who loved you. What a gift! Then I hope a new safe space opens up for you.December 15, 2021 at 2:18 pm #13307Lynn Patrone-MillerParticipant
I understand as I too lost my father. He died when I was very young and the impact continues to affect almost every area of my life. What I find helpful is to always keep him in my thoughts and remember all he taught me and honor that AND know that he is with me in all I do.December 29, 2021 at 11:21 pm #13424
Jennifer, You’ve been through so much recently! And no paid vacation in 12 years?!?! That is insane. I hope you were able to get some time over over the holidays in December, as well as Thanksgiving. Having time to relax is so vital. Wishing you the best in your job. I hope you are able to keep it and maintain your wellness.January 19, 2022 at 4:26 pm #13582Tanya WilliamsParticipant
I truly understand. I am not working due to many disadvantages. However, I keep waking and starting the day over using my WRAP toolbox. Things seem to eventually come together. My reasons for life do not include unhappy things, there are no unhappy or unpleasant uses within my WRAP toolbox. I have to utilize and believe in these tools for recovery from any situation that life may throw at me.January 19, 2022 at 4:38 pm #13583
Well-put, Tanya. I also keep hope and belief that my tools can help me recover from anything life throws at me. Sometimes those things seem impossible to survive, but so far time has given me the chance to heal and begin again. I’m grateful that I have a WRAP and the knowledge to pull me through the dark moments.January 27, 2022 at 6:43 pm #13666
Understand i lost my Daddy a number of years ago and will iss hm everyday. I feel him a times and I all to him slot. Sometimes I can even hear him reply back. It is still really hard but find comfort in the knowledge when I am working my recovery and wrap I am doing something he would be proud of me. When I lost my husband to cancer a few years ago I joined a local grief group and they were all very helpful.January 27, 2022 at 6:48 pm #13667
Understand i lost my Daddy a number of years ago and will iss hm everyday. I feel him a times and I all to him slot. Sometimes I can even hear him reply back. It is still really hard but find comfort in the knowledge when I am working my recovery and wrap I am doing something he would be proud of me. When I lost my husband to cancer a few years ago I joined a local grief group and they were all very helpful.January 27, 2022 at 8:55 pm #13673
Jennifer I totally understand i lost my home due to a shady contractor and became homeless. My best friend was inn Oregon and struggling with health issues and I had wanted to leave Minnesota for some years. After a year and a half she deoriated to the point of losing the house. I once again in September found myself homeless, in an area where I knew almost noone, no longer driving and with little to no resources. My WRAP plan ( especially for when things are breaking down), my toolbox and my fellow WRAP facilitators especially my ALF friends have kept me going on for the past 5 months. It seems that the ball is finally rolling towards the right direction but man it’s often a moment to moment struggle. Know you are not alone and that there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. We are here to listen and support you and trually understand.In hope,joy,love, serenity and interconnectedness Gayle
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