By Peter Mabey, WRAP Facilitator, Ontario, Canada
Today is a perfect day to work on my WRAP and the Key Concept of Education, finding ways to learn more about myself and where I could improve.
I haven’t looked at this for a while, so how could I improve? I have self-improvement workshops at New Life Productive Hub and the Getting Ahead program with Ontario Works in Canada. I also reached out to another organization and made some connections there. This opens a door of opportunity to co-facilitate WRAP in their program, where I will gain some experience and learn a few more skills. I will also learn about the things I need to improve and strengthen the skills I have.
My purpose in life is clear in my mind, and I am working toward the dreams and goals I set out at the end of last year. The Key Concepts of Self-Advocacy and Personal Responsibility are mine to control today, but a while ago I made every excuse for everyone else, except for my own mistakes.
“It wasn’t my fault,” I kept telling myself so I wouldn’t feel guilty about manipulating my friends and family out of whatever valuables I could take from them. Love and respect were words that had no meaning to me and relationships were only in books and fairy tales.
I was brought up knowing one thing, and that was to take all you can and have no remorse. Take no prisoners and allow no one into your heart because you will only be hurt and let down.
I grew up to be stone, and to plow through any obstacle that stands in my way. OK, I will admit I loved the power and control that this gave me back then, because it got me far in life and I was successful in many ways. But there was no love in my heart.
And every person had a NEED or WANT from me and had no clue who Pete was or cared what I wanted. No one ever really wanted to get to know me back then, because of that wall of addiction and mental health issues that I had built up so high to make sure no one got in or over.
I spent countless years, days, and waking minutes begging for someone to care and ask if I was OK. It was a predator who saw that little boy, and he placed doubt in my heart. But there was a small light of hope in that little boy’s heart and learning how I could take that control over the predator was the first step in my education on healing and resilience.
Now there’s a lot I’ve left out, because I am not all the way there in telling my whole story of recovery, but this is a great start to show you that if you want to grow and become a better person there are always ways to educate oneself so we can see value in others. We all want to feel love, and it’s the positive love I’m seeking in friends and family today.
I earned my WRAP Facilitator certification in October. It was challenging, but I am living WRAP and always adjusting my plan, as it’s a living document. I practice mindful walks and do things with positive intent, even if my days are not the best. I have fewer low moments and bad days because of the different parts of WRAP. Having the Action Plans and my five supporters for those plans leaves more time for living!
I’m a Peer in the Maps program through CMHA and I use WRAP every day to keep myself well and in check.
